I’m beginning to enter that season where with every hangout there’s a “I’m gonna miss you so much when I graduate” at the end of each night and a “we must hang out so much before then” with each goodbye.

It’s a really exciting period of life, but also a period of life that I have absolutely no idea how to navigate because I never had this closing out season in high school (thank you Covid lockdowns in 2020). I’ve never done the intentional last hangouts or the last week of school while knowing that it’s going to be the final one. This past week was my last full week of school ever (unless I decide to go to grad school later down the line which is tbd and also not for a while thank goodness) and it was a week of epic highs and lows. It felt like this week lasted forever as I packed so much into it and I was reflecting on what I’m going to miss the most about college when I graduate.

One of my amazing friends held a meditation session for seniors at Georgetown’s meditation center this past week and I spent my Monday evening there. Meditation has always been something that scared me, as ever since coming to college I’ve been of the mindset that some thoughts don’t need to be taken apart and analyzed because there’s a lot of precarious stuff going on in my mind since moving abroad. However, it was such a lovely evening of sitting with a group of amazing seniors and just having genuine and deep conversations about our experience. My friend who was leading the session asked us what we’re most scared about with graduating and we had a really interesting conversation that made me think about what I’m going to miss about college the most.

One girl mentioned how she’s scared about how her college friendships will evolve; she said she’s not worried that she’ll fall out of touch with her friends because she knows that they have strong relationships, but she’s just nervous about navigating this new phase of the relationship. How will a friendship work where you don’t live in the same city on the same schedule after living like that for three years? We talked about how there’s no way to prepare for or control this situation, it’s part of the growing up and being in those adult stages of life.

I’ve been thinking about this all week and it made me realize that what I’m going to miss the most about college is not my friends themselves, because I know we’ll stay close, but the form that our college friendships currently take. Instead of saying “I’m gonna miss you so much when I graduate” I should be saying:

• I’m going to miss stopping by your house on the way to class for a “quick” chat that lasts for like 30 minutes
• I’m going to miss texting you that I’m feeling sad and coming over for a hug and a debrief five minutes later
• I’m going to miss you coming over and destroying my closet trying to help me pick out an outfit for a date
• I’m going to miss randomly texting you and asking you to sit out on the lawn with me and do “homework”
• I’m going to miss walking around campus and randomly bumping into you and it making my whole day
• I’m going to miss hanging out and talking in 50% Taylor Swift lyrics
• I’m going to miss trying to hard to keep a straight face while you text me the most ridiculous things in class

Senior year has been filled with so many special and wholesome memories and I know the next couple of weeks will be even more special. Currently out here trying to soak up the final memories and experiences and process it all… and of course, will be sharing all that processing on this blog as I go along.

See you next week,