Dear LME – how to make friends in a new place

Dear LME

January 7, 2022

Welcome back to another post in the “Dear LME” series! This is my advice column specifically for expats, internationals, and TCKs – a place to ask those questions that you just can’t google. You can read all about the series here.

This week’s dilemma:

I think this has to be one of the most common dilemmas when moving to a new place, and for a good reason! Moving to a completely new place can be very lonely at the beginning if you don’t know anyone there, and even if you do know a few people in your new home, it can be hard to make those genuine connections! I have seven pieces of advice to help you with this dilemma.

Join clubs & organizations

Whether you’re at college or working a job, try and join local clubs and organizations. If you join organizations for things you’re interested in, you’re more likely to form genuine connections with similar people. For example, when moving to college I found good friends in the organizations I’m a part of and also great mentors I can ask for advice. I think this is the most common piece of advice for making new friends, and it’s definitely effective; if you find the right organization, it’s like joining a family or community full of people with similar interests.

Encourage friends to meet eachother

It only takes one person to grow your circle! Once you make a connection with someone, chances are you’ll get on with their friends too. You could invite them over and suggest they bring a friend too, or organize a fun group activity and ask them to help you get a group of people together. Slowly you’ll start meeting people and their friends and then their friends too, soon you’ll know a big circle of people!

Volunteer & take part in community service

I’ve always found volunteering to be especially fulfilling and I think it’s also a good opportunity to make genuine friends. Find a cause you’re passionate about and volunteer for an event, for example, you could volunteer at a local food bank or tutoring center. I think volunteering is one of those experiences that just brings you closer with people because of the work you’re engaging with, and you’re doing something good at the same time!

Meet up with friends of friends

Chances are, when you move to a new place a friend back home with have a friend in that place or they’ll have a “friend of a friend” in that place. There’s almost always a distant connection to be made! I’d encourage you to take advantage of those connections to meet people; even if you don’t necessarily get on with them, they might still be able to give you some tips about your new home or introduce you to others. When I went to college, I met up with a “friend of a friend” and now we’re extremely close!

Connect with local businesses & markets

I think another way to make new friends is to immerse yourself in the local activities. Shop at local businesses or go to the local farmers market – basically just take any opportunity you can to interact with people who know the city/town well! Strike up a conversation and build a connection! These people might not be a best friend who you hang out with, but it’s still nice to know familiar faces around town.

Become a regular at your local coffee shop

This has to be my personal favorite piece of advice, mostly because I spend so much time in coffee shops! There’s nothing better than walking into your local coffee shop and having the barista greet you and already know your order! From the amount of time I spent studying in coffee shops this past semester, I’ve seen so many friendships form there. It can just start from someone complimenting your outfit or asking to share your table and striking up a conversation. I was once sitting at a communal table at my local coffee shop and saw two strangers start a conversation and end up talking for 40 minutes straight, just because they mentioned that they had both seen each other at that coffee shop everyday!

Go to an exercise class

There’s something about the adrenaline of a workout that makes it easier to make friends! As much as I love going for walks and runs by myself, I also love going to workout classes for the social aspect. I think workout classes are a great place to meet people as they’re usually a manageable size, and you can talk to people before or after the workout so it’s a great way to meet people in a non-awkward way; you’re also guaranteed a topic of conversation after the workout!


I hope these seven pieces of advice answer your question! Let me know in the comments if you have any others you would add to this list.

See you next week,

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